Counsellor's News
Supporting Children at the Start of the School Year
Dear Parents,
With the return to a new school year, schedules are often getting very busy again, and families can sometimes feel overwhelmed in the daily challenge to juggle various tasks and commitments. Take this article as permission to come home to yourselves, acknowledging that sometimes it’s really hard for children and parents to keep it all together. If you are observing post-school meltdowns happening more than just occasionally, you may find it helpful to simplify their after-school routine.
Below are some tips to help make late afternoons more peaceful when your child is adjusting to the new school year.
Expect kids to fall apart – Your child might hold it all together and be on their best behaviour at school and then the minute they get home they go off the rails. This is normal behaviour, especially when settling back into a new routine. At school your child works so hard to follow all the rules and have so many social interactions. This is tiring, and they need to let it out at some point.
Plan for downtime – School days are draining and your child needs to balance the demands of a new school year with some relaxation and rest. When you notice a pattern of after-school meltdowns, clear their afternoon/evening schedule for the week where possible. Postpone the playdates, skip the supermarket visit after school, and go straight home to allow your child to unwind.
Have a healthy snack ready – Your child might not eat enough at school. Drinking and eating are social in nature, and children just tend to snack until they are comfortable. Be prepared for their end of school day HANGRY side to come out and be ready with a nutrient-dense snack.
Don’t take it personally – You’re probably so excited to see your child/ren at the end of the day to give them a hug and find all about what they got up to at school. Then you pick them up and they are tired and limited in what they want to share, making you feel disappointed or rejected. It’s not about you. Give them space, time, rest and food.
Sensory play – Draw a bath with lots of bubbles and their favourite bath toys. Or put on some calm music and let them relax with a puzzle, play dough or kinetic sand play. They may really enjoy it, and it will help them unwind.
A popular book for those in junior primary school at the moment is by author Jane Godwin and illustrator Anna Walker. They have created a delightful picture book all about families’ busy lives. It’s called Today We Have No Plans – ‘a busy week, a slower day brings time to dream and time to play’.
Ongoing concerns about back to school anxiety – If your child is showing signs of difficulties with adjustment beyond the first few weeks of school term, such as:
– physical symptoms like stomach aches, headaches or nausea;
– trouble sleeping;
– changes in appetite;
– changes in behaviour;
– expressing not wanting to go to school;
They may be experiencing anxiety.
If you have concerns about your child experiencing back to school anxiety:
– Remember to make some quiet time together and ask open-ended questions – for example, “How are you feeling about starting/going/being back to school?” This gives your child a chance to share their thoughts, feelings and anything that’s worrying them.
– Listen closely and acknowledge your child’s feelings. For example, “I can see why you would be worried about starting in a new class. I know that lots of kids feel anxious about making new friends.”
– Remember, school is a major part of your child’s life, so try to see things from their point of view. Don’t dismiss their worries, even if they seem small or silly to you. You don’t need to have all the answers or be able to fix things. Instead, the most important thing is that your child believes they can overcome their feelings of anxiety and knows that you’re in their corner to help them through it.
– For more information on how to support your child through back to school anxiety and where to go for professional support, talk to your child’s class teacher as the first point of contact or see the following article on the Emerging Minds website:
Anxiety Group for Years 3 to 6
Lastly, for parents with a student currently in year 3 to year 6 that have any concerns about anxiety, I’d like to let you know that I am currently in the process of setting up a small group for strategies to manage anxiety. Key information is as follows:
– I am anticipating running the group weekly from weeks 4 to 9 of term, and if successful, re-running the group in term 3.
– The group will be facilitated by the school counsellor in tandem with a Classroom Support Assistant (CSA).
– Written consent from a parent is required for a student to attend the group (and in the case of separated parents, written consent from both parents is required). Consent will need to be returned by week 3 of this term.
– A brief phone discussion with parents, conducted by the counsellor, will be required to assess suitability for the group.
– If the counsellor assesses that the group is not the right fit for your child at the present time, we can still consider an alternative referral, such as individual (one-on-one) school counselling or external counselling.
– The group is likely to be run on a Wed or Thurs (to be confirmed).
– Groups are a great way for children to tackle a shared emotional problem (like anxiety) with validation and support from their peers.
If you believe that your child/ren might be a good fit for the group, please contact the school principal Karen Hadley, or email myself directly at damian.gerber@mccg.org.au to discuss further.
I wish you and your children a wonderful 2025.
Warm regards,
Damian Gerber
Student and Family Counsellor, St Bernard’s Primary School
With thanks to MCCG School Counselling resources and Emerging Minds website.
