Helping Children to Identify and Express Feelings  

Sometimes children have big feelings, and it is difficult to know how to respond as parents. Behaviour is communication, and big feelings can often lie underneath the surface of big behaviours.  As a parent you can play a powerful and valuable role in developing your child’s emotional skills and helping them to learn healthy ways to express their feelings. Children who learn to cope with and express their feelings are more likely to have good mental health and wellbeing, be more resilient and able to cope with change and setbacks, display less behavioural problems, become more confident and have a positive sense of self.  

 Below are some strategies from the Kids Helpline that can enhance emotional literacy skills.

• Tune into cues - Sometimes feelings can be hard to identify. Tune into your child’s feelings by looking at their body language, listening to what they’re saying and observing their behaviour. Figuring out what they feel and why means you can help them identify, express and manage those feelings better. 
• Behind every behaviour is a feeling - Try to understand the meaning and feeling behind your child’s behaviour. You can help your child find other ways to express that feeling once you know what is driving the behaviour. 
• Name the feeling - Help your child name their feelings by giving them a label. Naming feelings is the first step in helping kids learn to identify them. It allows your child to develop an emotional vocabulary so they can talk about their feelings. 
• Identify feelings in others – Provide lots of opportunities to identify feelings in others. You might ask your child to reflect on what someone else may be feeling. Cartoons or picture books are a great way discuss feelings and helps kids learn how to recognise other people’s feelings through facial expressions. 
• Be a role model - Kids learn about feelings and how to express them appropriately by watching others. Show your child how you’re feeling about different situations and how you deal with those feelings. 
• Encourage with praise - Praise your child when they talk about their feelings or express them in an appropriate way. Not only does it show that feelings are normal but it reinforces the behaviour, so they are likely to repeat it. 
• Listen to your child’s feelings - Stay present and resist the urge to make your child’s bad feelings go away. Support your child to identify and express their feelings so they are heard. When feelings are minimised or dismissed, they will often be expressed in unhealthy ways. 

For more information, you can visit the Kids Helpline website for additional resources. 

https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/helping-kids-identify-and-express-feelings

Lastly, I’d like to share that I’m planning to run an emotional regulation group for students in Kindergarten, Year 1 and Year 2 in Term 2, 2025.  If you think your child may be a good fit for this group, please reach me at damian.gerber@mccg.org.au for further information.

I would like to wish all St Bernard’s families a safe, happy and rejuvenating Easter break.

Warm regards,

Damian Gerber

Student & Family Counsellor, St Bernard’s Primary School